When preparing for the birth of my child, I read many of the same books that moms-to-be read. Five years later, I’ve come to the conclusion that these “What to Expect” books need to come with a second book that is housed in a small glass case with the words “Break in case of emergency”. This other book would be called something like “What to Expect When You Gotta Do This Parenting Thing Solo”. Among the chapters would be tips on how to date without completely turning yourself off to the concept.
If I had this other book, I would’ve remembered to secure babysitting before agreeing to go on the first date with the Dominican cutie from Purchasing. I was so excited my flirting was reciprocated, that I forgot I had a baby at home. And the flirting? It was like riding a bike – you never actually forget how to do it. I was quite proud at how adept I was at it, actually. I was so into this guy. It felt great to know these old, fun feelings hadn’t been completely obliterated by my experience with my ex.
I should’ve known my first foray into “single mommy” dating would be launched from the workplace. After all, isn’t it a well-known fact that a good amount of married couples first meet at work? My Dominican cutie wasn’t the only sweet looking thing here, either. I was surrounded by all sorts of beautiful men. They were from different cultures and countries. One was from Venezuela, one from Germany, Israel – it was the United Nations of gorgeous men!
Regardless, out of all the eye candy, I was smitten with the Dominican. He was perfect. We had that shared culture thing. I could speak to him in Spanish, English or Spanglish. He had been in the military at one point, which gave him that sexy “hero” vibe most ladies love. Nice height. Nice voice. He had all the ingredients for the perfect fantasy.
Two weeks of flirting and sexy glances by the proverbial water fountain led to him asking me out on a date. One would think I was in high school and not at a brand new job. If I had looked in a mirror right then and there, my 15-year-old self would be my reflection – all giddy and happy. This was it! I wanted this guy and it seemed pretty much “in the bag”.
All of a sudden my excitement gave way to anxiety. A year home with a baby left me with the social skills of a toddler. If it wasn’t about Blues Clues or Barney, I had no idea what to talk about. I wasn’t sure how to entertain anyone over the age of 1! What the hell was I going to do? Bring some Teddy Grahams and stuffed rattles on our date?
Oh mi Dios! What did I just get myself into?!
Nydia Mata is a 31 year old single mother to a 5 year old little burst of sunshine. She believes that life after baby doesn’t always mean resigning yourself to your worst case scenario. Easily flustered, she struggles to find a balance between parenting, finding love and growing up. She fails miserably almost every time, making for some thoroughly entertaining situaciones.
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